I seem to be in a state of denial that the year 2016 is over. I still have so much left on my list of things I had hoped to accomplish. There's so much left undone. So many moments I didn't savor. So many projects I didn't finish. So many things I didn't photograph. There are so many stories I still haven written down. I'm not sure where the time went nor what I have left to show for it. I've suffered more loss this year than I have even had time to wrap my mind around. I've given up so much. My sweet little orphaned baby alpaca died yesterday and as I sat next to his little lifeless body I felt more grief and more failure than I could hardly stand. With my heavy heart I picked him up and carried him to the house. I carefully sheared his fleece from his little lifeless body struggling to breathe and in such disbelief. I laid him to rest and I just still cannot believe that he's gone and I don't understand why. Perhaps my view of 2016 is just heavy laden with loss after loss. I wish that I could rewrite the story. I thought I would share these two sweet faces with you. My twin lambs and the very first ones I ever had to pull. I'll never forget that day my sweet Opal needed me or how amazing it was to be there with her. I was so scared of failing her. When I finally had the twins delivered I remember feeling so much love for these tiny fragile creatures with their smiling faces and heart shaped noses. It is one of the greatest joys that comes with the deepest aches this shepherdess life. Jolene and The gardener is what we named Opals twins. This was 5 years ago. Opal is still here and she's always been my favorite. Her son The Gardener is still here. The loss of Jolene is one of the events that compelled me to get Spartan and Roman AKA the rough toughs and #coyotesnackers ❤ I'm not sure what 2017 will hold but my prayer is that it's not so relentless on this shepherdess' heart. Happy new year friends ❤❤❤ #fiberfarm #everydayfarmgirl #theshepherdessheart #musinngsfromafarmgirl #southdownsheep #thefarm #brokenhearted #anatolianshepherd #greatpyrenees