The Day Before.....

It's the day before my first farmers market. I can remember a time where all I did was dream about participating as a vendor at a market, and here I am the day before. I'm feeling slightly inadequate, and unprepared. It seems as though I have worked diligently trying to get everything just so over the years and as the end of growing seasons pass I tell myself "maybe next year."

Well the Mayor Gary Baxtor of my small little town had something else in mind for me this year, he put me in charge of starting our towns first farmers market. I have enjoyed the course if the last few weeks meeting with farmers and touring their farms. Some want to set up and others aren't ready yet. I've been working on signs and networking and trying to gather enough product to sell.

Here I am the day before full of doubt and fear and wishing that I had declined this opportunity to be the Market Coordinator and stayed in my small protective shell. I am wholeheartedly scared to death to put my heart out in the open again, feeling as though my enemies are ever lurking in the shadows hoping for my failure and defeat. I know that I have been called to do this, to risk this and begin this. Stepping out in blind faith and unable to see the next step in front of me has me twisted up. I'm wearing my smile, and I'm gonna show up even though with every heartbeat in my chest I want to hide and say "maybe next year." I won't. I'll be there tomorrow even if I am alone. I'll take the step and overcome this paralyzing fear of the unknown because all great things start somewhere and at my core I'm humbled that someday when people tell the story of Mulberry Farmers Market...perhaps just maybe they won't believe it started with one small scared Everyday Farmgirl.

Here I go. Trusting.